A breakup is always a difficult time. Both parties are often at very different stages of preparation; one may have been waiting years for the right time to leave, while the other may have felt that things were relatively good, sticking with the mentality, ‘better heck, you know!’
Relationship counseling it may have been a valuable way to deal with negative emotions experienced during the relationship breakdown. It can help you understand the views of others, even when the relationship is unrecoverable. However, choosing not to continue living together does not mean that there are no good reasons to remain friends with your ex, especially if both of you have learned to be more respectful of each other’s points of view.
Many practical matters they can further aggravate the situation, as they require consideration and can influence decision-making. There is a great list; where to live, the financial implications, the custody of family pets, the dispersion of possessions, how to handle various relationships with family and friends, as well as the severity of the children, their custody, education, and the impact a divorce will have In their lifes.
Some people say that divorce makes them feel like a failure; They never imagined that their relationship would end this way. They may feel partially guilty or are disappointing their children, family, and friends.
Then a period of reflection often follows where we consider the many devastating things that have been said and done. We often minimize or even forget the role we play in these heated exchanges. But eventually we come to terms with the pain and the rawness and things can start to soften and subside.
There are often good reasons to remain friends with your ex, especially if children are a consideration. But there may also be other factors, such as shared connections from family, friends, history, and mutual interests.
With that in mind, what are the good reasons to remain friends with your ex?
– Some couples may have started their relationship long before completing their formal education. or they were in the early stages of building their career or business. At that age, people often don’t know what they want or expect from a long-term relationship. Over time, they evolve and grow, sometimes becoming quite different people from who they were then. Having these very personal early experiences together means that a unique perception and bond is formed that no one else will understand in the same way.
– Life may require adjustments.Such as quitting work to become a stay-at-home parent or juggling the responsibilities of becoming the main breadwinner in the family. This role change can bring its own tensions and introduce unexpected and ongoing stresses and strains into a relationship, as well as force priorities to shift significantly. Sometimes witnessing how others cope with moments of transition can mean that even if we disagree, we may appreciate and understand their responses.
– Counseling can help improve communications. providing a neutral, safe and supportive environment. Some people are even known to reconcile as a result of improving their ability to listen, empathize, and communicate with each other.
– Learning from what went wrong it is an important part of the healing process. Personal counseling can be important to your individual recovery, where you accept responsibility for your role in the breakup and learn ways to avoid repeating negative and unhelpful patterns in future relationships. You may also become more tolerant, understanding, and patient with your ex’s attitude and decisions.
– It is important not to forget that your ex probably knows you better than anyone. Throughout your relationship, you have talked about your hopes, dreams, fears, problems, day-to-day concerns, and at some point, you have enthusiastically supported each other. They used to love each other, laugh together, share their secrets, be part of a team; You planned to be together forever. When a breakup occurs, it spells the end of that intimate day-to-day connection, but your shared history can provide good reasons to remain friends with your ex, even if you are no longer lovers.
– And indeed, some couples get along better after divorce.. Once removed from everyday arguments, annoyances and irritations, they can become two separate and independent individuals who really like each other and have a lot in common. Some people even find that they rediscover their original attraction once the pressure of living together has been relieved. It may also be that sharing mutual friends, family ties, work-related interests, as well as your personal perspective, provides a powerful magnet.
After addressing and understanding the underlying causes of the split it may be possible to start over and build a stronger relationship than before. However, it is important to take time to reflect, discuss, and address what went wrong. There is no benefit to returning to a previous relationship due to habit, loneliness, financial concerns, or health problems. Maintaining a toxic or unhappy relationship out of fear or ultimately perceived need serves no one.
The time apart can allow both of you to become independent and have confidence in what is right for you, what you need, and what you don’t need from a relationship. Some people say that when a relationship ends, it ends, you cannot and should not go back. Others say that having acquired valuable information about yourself and others, there may be good reasons to remain friends with your ex, but now on an updated basis, more relevant to today.