Let’s be honest. You are wrinkled.

You have bags under your eyes that won’t stop growing, deep cuts around your mouth, and lips that are wrinkled like a prune or something.

You look terrifying.

What you need is the best wrinkle cream on the planet. After all, there’s no faster way to get back that fresh, youthful look you once had than to buy expensive factory-made butters and creams that you can slather all over your face and body every day.

It just doesn’t get more attractive than that.

But, you better act fast. Because all those nasty little lines and scars all over your face are keeping you from getting big jobs and promotions…or sleeping with someone hot. So move grandma.

What is the best wrinkle cream?

That is easy. The best wrinkle cream you can buy typically costs more than your monthly mortgage payment and is typically made of 10-20 different harmful and toxic chemicals that can kill you and of course any children or pets you may have.

But, they will also have small traces of “good stuff” in them, like “green tea” or “Amazon berries”, so you can feel much better about yourself when you smear the deadly poisons all over your fragile skin and infect your family. . with noxious vapors passing by.

Will that help me get rid of wrinkles?

You are welcome. In fact, the chemicals alone will probably end up causing you even more wrinkles and perhaps damage your liver. Who knows.

You see, the real key to using the best wrinkle cream is to slather it on generously in thick, even layers, to cover all your big facial crevices. How to caulk a window. That way, you can quickly cover up your wrinkles in just minutes and keep all your vanity…instead of aging gracefully and with a semblance of dignity. Which is a huge relief, right?

Couldn’t I just take a supplement to repair my skin instead?

Sure, there are some supplements you could take to boost your body’s production of collagen and repair your skin in about 60 days. But let’s be honest. Can you really wait that long? Think about it. You are already incredibly old and wrinkled and possibly close to death. There is no time for nonsense here. Besides, at your age, you should know better by now. The only way to truly healthy skin is to live a healthier life.

And yet here you are…

Looking for putty.

So intelligence is not exactly your strong suit. That is a fact. It would also be reasonable to assume that you are also a bit ignorant and lazy. After all, you’re trying to tackle the complexity of aging and reverse the very laws of nature with what…a bucket of slime and a paintbrush? That is so cute.

Look, chances are you won’t be able to stick to a real anti-aging treatment program for a full 2-3 months anyway. That would require… thought.

Trust me, what you want is an insanely expensive bottle of anti-wrinkle glue made from industrial-strength solvents that are capable of burning through titanium in a matter of seconds. That will take care of your wrinkles, scars, loose skin (any foreign facial tissue or bone you’re not using at the moment, etc.).

Where do I find the best wrinkle cream?

You can always find the best wrinkle cream deals online pretty easily because they’re usually promoted by some weird doctor who was once on Oprah or somehow “featured” on CNN.

Also, Christy Brinkley or Cindy Crawford may also be involved. I’m not exactly sure. You’ll need to check the latest logs for more details.

The point is that you are inherently stupid. There is nothing we can do about it now. But listen, you don’t have to be all ugly and wrinkly too. You can still save a few more years of false youth before you die by using questionable beauty products that may or may not give you cancer. It’s that easy.

So, just get yourself an exorbitantly priced wrinkle cream, apply it daily until your skin is mummified, and you’re good to go!