The first thing to understand is that fear or anxiety is always from a future event.. In other words, it is part of your imagination, so it is not “real”. But it sure feels real and affects you like real with your heart pounding and your adrenaline pumping. So you treat the fear of flying by trying the imagination.
You have a vivid imagination and you can easily imagine yourself crashing into a mountain., engine explosion, terrorist takeover, fall of a wing, fire in the cabin, impact of an asteroid shower; the pilot may be drunk or have a heart attack, etc. Any number of things can go wrong!
Then your rational mind steps in to remind you that the odds of such things happening are much higher than winning the million dollar lottery. And you’ve heard many times that flying is safer than driving a car. Then your imagination comes back: Well, people play the lottery and accidents happen, and people get struck by lightning, and I’m 30,000 feet in the air without a parachute!
Einstein said that the imagination is the most powerful thing in the universe.. You have the free will choice to use it for good or bad, negative or positive. If you want to use yours on negative things, then you could become a horror novelist like Stephen King and earn a lot of money. Or if you want, you can use it for positive things like, not just relaxing and enjoying each plane ride, but waiting for you with the joyous anticipation of a kid going to Disneyland. Everything is in your mind and everything is controllable. So how do you control it?
You control it the same way a stage artist controls his performance, or the way a military maneuver is controlled: he plans it, practices it, trains it for it. You rehearse it over and over until the muscles memorize it and you can do it without the intervention of thought. This is a definition of mindfulness: action without the interference of thought. So, you don’t really have a fear of flying problem; has a fear of the unknown problem. Properly rehearsing your trip makes it fully known.
Correct rehearsal requires being deeply relaxed.. Deep physical and mental relaxation allows your visualization to be more effectively internalized and assimilated into your subconscious mind so that you can then operate on autopilot, no pun intended. Otherwise, your training will not hold, but will go in one ear and out the other.
Here is a basic method of self-hypnosis.: Sitting in a comfortable straight-backed chair or lying on the bed, take three deep breaths. Now scan your body from head to toe to relieve all tension. Just focus on each muscle group in turn and tell him to be heavy and relaxed. Tell the muscles of the face, eyelids, and jaw to be heavy and relaxed. Tell your neck, shoulders, back, arms, hands, fingers, chest, abdomen, hips, buttocks, legs and feet to be heavy and relaxed.
Now relax the mind closely following your breath as it comes in and out. When distracting thoughts intrude, gently return your attention to your breathing over and over again, until your mind is fairly calm and still.
Now imagine seeing yourself on a big movie screen. the day of your flight. Imagine yourself at home preparing to go to the airport, as relaxed then as you are now. He watches himself separately packing a tote bag and a check-in bag. Imagine taking the two bags to the car and placing them neatly in the trunk. You get in the car and start driving towards the airport noticing how relaxed and calm you feel. He is satisfied that all the details of the trip have been taken care of up to this point.
Now you stop at the departure gate of your airline, Get out of your car and open the trunk. An attendant takes your bags and you go to the parking area and find a fairly convenient space. Take a leisurely walk back to the terminal and wait in the short line at the ticket counter. You realize how perfectly relaxed and patient you are. The smiling agent hands you your tickets and you head to the boarding gate. You go and stop at a newsstand and peruse the shelf of novels. A civil war romance jumps out and you buy it for the flight.
Your mind is perfectly calm and clear upon entering and completing the security check. You give your ticket to the assistant, who will stamp it and give you your seat number. You sit in the waiting room and leaf through the book. He calls his flight and gets in line with the other passengers, still feeling deeply relaxed and not thinking about how enjoyable this novel and this flight will be. You watch yourself enter the plane and head to your seat feeling perfectly calm and relaxed. You sit down, fasten your seat belt and go back to the novel, hardly noticing the smooth and powerful takeoff.
The heroine is risking her life hiding and caring for a wounded enemy soldier in the family cellar. You close your eyes for a moment to wonder if you would have the courage to do something so risky. When a little turbulence distracts you, just take a deep breath and return your attention to your reading. You stop reading again for a delicious meal of Chicken Parmesan with a glass of Chianti.
You see yourself rooted in the present moment now you feel calmer and more relaxed than you ever imagined. You look out the window and realize how wonderfully beautiful the view is from this height. Before you know it, the plane has landed in Paris and is taxiing towards the ramp, and you almost feel like the flight is over so soon.
The flight is over and you can gently return your attention to normal.. If you want, you can replay your trip over and over again until you are perfectly clear about how everything will happen. You are learning to live in reality instead of mindset, living in the security of the present instead of the anxiety of the future.
Good trip!
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