Why become an engaged listener?
For most people, communication is about talking. Not many realize that listening to the speaker is so important to forming an effective chain of communication. There is a world of difference between a simple listener and an engaged listener. The former simply receives the words, information, and context from the speaker; while the latter also takes into account the emotional value they are trying to communicate. An engaged listener can detect slight variations in the speaker’s voice and intonations that underscore his emotional state. This allows you to understand the true meaning of what the speaker is trying to communicate. This, in turn, can help you empathize and relate to the speaker in a better way, which will definitely set the right tone in your relationship.
So how do you become an engaged listener?
If you are genuinely interested in what a person is trying to say or if you care deeply about the person in one way or another, engaging listening comes naturally to you. For those of us with a fleeting attention span or who can’t seem to get to the bottom of the speaker’s minds, the following tips can go a long way in helping them become an engaged listener.
· Give your full attention to the speaker: You must give your full attention to the speaker; the words he speaks, his subtle intonations, hand gestures, body language, his eyes, and anything about him that is trying to convey one thing or another. Most likely, if you analyze everything carefully, it will soon sync to the speaker. If you speak too fast or are disoriented, try repeating the messages in your head and put it all together to draw a logical conclusion.
· Without interruptions: Most people have an unhealthy habit of interrupting a speaker and trying to recount a similar experience they had. This not only breaks the speaker’s rhythm, but will also check the natural flow of thought. The moment your mind begins to roam the memory lane searching for similar memories, it shows on your face and the speaker feels that you are not interested in what you are saying.
· Show interest: Make sure to verbally and non-verbally stimulate the speaker just to let them know that you are following their line of thinking. A simple smile or facial expression from time to time can do the trick.
· Provide feedback: If you feel like you’re missing the speaker, gently paraphrase what you’ve understood just to make sure you’re both on the right page. This will not only strengthen the trust they have in you, but it will also allow the speaker to be more free and trusting with you.
These tips above allow you to harness the power of engaged listening, thereby adding a new dimension to your relationships.
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