Do you know why it’s not cool to be alone?

Because that is falling into the stereotype that people have of an older person: fragile, dependent on others, sickly and in a bad mood.

Being cool is not fitting into the mold that society has made for us. It is for using a tablet, not for your arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, or heart problems, but for contacting your friends online or playing online games.

Of course, society is not the only culprit for your condescending attitude towards older people. We are also partly to blame!

We like so much to go back to the past, to be sentimental and nostalgic for the past. Like a broken record, we often remember the times we played with our children when they were little, our first date, our first job, when we got married, and many other things that will lead us down the avenue of depression.

The past is past, and to think about them is to stand still, to remain static when, at this moment in our lives, we should be doing the things that we always wanted but never had time, going to places that we dream of but that are still a dream. until now, or meeting people, perhaps our soul mate, now that we are free to do so.

If we are not too sentimental, we are so grumpy that our children can sometimes admonish our grandchildren not to make so much noise or else that “grumpy old man next room” will summon the gremlins and witches and lead them to a place far, far away. , a distant land, never to be found again.

One Sunday afternoon I was home alone, as always, watching the HBO channel.

I was becoming listless when feelings of loneliness began to appear. Suddenly, I got a call from my daughter asking me how I was doing. I told him it was okay.

Then the dam broke. I started crying and told him that I was miserably lonely and that I don’t think I can take it anymore.

As embarrassing as it may sound, that episode taught me a very valuable lesson: never watch emotionally charged movies while at home alone. It is a warning, almost like “do not play with matches”, that has been engraved on my fragile conscience.

If you must watch TV alone at home, I suggest that you use your remote to search for comedies, cartoons, or “How To” shows. Stay away from programs that make your heart beat a little faster, your adrenal glands work a little harder.

Better yet, don’t watch TV when you’re alone. Get out there, take a walk on your lawn, get some weeds out of your garden, go to the basement and see if there are things you can do to avoid boredom; or have a few beers with a neighbor. Do anything that diverts your thoughts from you to someone or something else.

Loneliness is bad company

Loneliness is an unpleasant emotion caused by a feeling of anxiety about not being connected with others or out of communion with a group.

Particularly susceptible are the elderly who are widowed or divorced, those with medical problems, the physical handicapped, and those who have failed to achieve their life goals.

As an emotion, it is subjective. You may feel lonely in a group or lively even when alone (a survey shows that people who live alone do not have episodes of loneliness or never feel alone at all).

And it’s bad company because if it becomes chronic, it can easily cause stress that can lead to depression and melancholy. It can increase your risk of heart disease and Alzheimer’s. Before all this happens to you, you will stay away from the world, you will drain your energy and your enthusiasm for living.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t have episodes of loneliness. I do, more often than I would like to admit. It even falls on me even if I’m in a crowded cafeteria. But I have to put it aside because having an anxiety attack, which usually follows closely behind, is a terrifying feeling.

So far I have been successful at that. I have a support group of my tennis partners and I am still busy writing. When things get out of hand, I talk to my daughter.

She is always there when I need her.

Like that HBO episode I mentioned earlier. When, between sobs, I told her that I felt very lonely, she immediately said the magic words, “Okay, let’s go out to dinner.”

The life of an old man is fickle and uncertain. Every day is a blessing that should not be wasted on worrying, feeling lonely, or being inactive. Every day is an opportunity to make a difference, if not in the lives of others, then in our own.

Each day must be lived so that, if we do not see another sunrise, people would say: “He looks so happy!”

And that’s great, right?