You can not handle the truth!

The following is an excerpt from one of my favorite movies: A Few Good Men (or as it is known here in Australia, Three Grouse Blokes):

Jessep (Jack): “Do you want answers?”

Kaffee (Tom): “I think I’m entitled to them.”

Jessep: “Do you want answers?”

Kaffee: “I want the truth!”

Jessep: “You can’t stand the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls. And those walls have to be protected by armed men. Who will? You? You, Lieutenant Weinberg? I have a greater responsibility than you can imagine. You cry for Santiago and curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago’s death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible for you, it saves lives. You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.”

Maybe Jessep wasn’t completely wrong…

Sorry to bore you with half the script but I love that part of the movie (must be a guy thing). Even though Jack (sorry, Jessep) was a bit out of his depth when he uttered those words in the courtroom, in a way he was providing his audience with a degree of insight, honesty, and truth. He said something true about the truth. So to speak. And the truth is that many people do not want to hear the truth, they want to hear what is comfortable for them to hear. Very often we don’t want to be confronted, challenged or questioned and we definitely don’t want to have to change our beliefs, behaviors or habits. Too uncomfortable and too inconvenient. And too much work. We’re fine with the truth as long as it doesn’t mean we have to significantly modify or disrupt our lives.

So instead of being open to learning some valuable truth, truth that could change our reality for the better, we often become defensive, critical, and/or angry. Acknowledging certain things would mean that we would have to do and be different… and that’s the last thing we want to do, so we don’t. “Let them make the change.”

I’m sorry to be honest…

Over the years, many people have called me names for being honest about certain important issues. I call it honest, they call it offensive. Funny that. Perspective can be the difference between being empowered and educated and being a victim. People ask me for advice and then when I tell them what they don’t want to hear, they criticize me. Apparently it makes them feel better about themselves. I never (never) tell people the truth to hurt, discourage, or criticize, just to help them create positive change in their lives. And yes, of course, there is a time, a place and a way to deliver certain messages with sensitivity and compassion, but there is also a time when we need to stop dodging issues and really face things head on, so unpopular and uncomfortable. . how can it be. I wish I had ten bucks for every obese person I’ve talked to over the years who ‘barely eats anything.’

Incredible phenomenon that; self-generated fat.

“So where did all this fat come from then Kelvin? I know a bit about the physiology of the human body and I’m pretty sure fat can’t just spontaneously be produced out of thin air.”

Lasted? Boop; honest. The truth. Sometimes things are as offensive as we make them. We can be offended or we can be enlightened. Intelligent. Proactive. Different. We can make something positive out of something that we once would have made negative. The important thing about the truth is how we treat it and what we do with it. And many of us face it badly. Or don’t try at all.

Damn those big bones

“Sure, Kelvin, you can keep lying to yourself about your big bones, slow metabolism, shitty genetics, and very healthy diet for the next five years, but the only person you’re kidding is you. Everyone in the world except you (apparently) knows that you tell lies and eat too much food Make your head understand that truth and you might actually change your body.

My experience is that most people lie when questioned in depth about their lifestyle, exercise, and eating habits. I mean, they don’t tell me the whole truth. They selectively leave things out. They are more concerned with ‘looking and sounding good’ than with telling me the absolute truth and genuinely addressing their issues in a real and practical way.

What about my hormones?

Now, before you write me and tell me about hormonal problems and obesity… don’t bother. Yes, I recognize that some people have significant problems with their endocrine system (it’s actually a very small percentage of the general population), but for this post and this lesson, these are not the people we’re talking about. And by the way, if you think our current global obesity epidemic is vaguely due to “hormonal issues,” then you’re seriously misinformed. In general, we are fatter than ever because we eat too much and we go to a small … end of the story.

Of course we can try to make it more complex and write another fifteen million books on the subject (and keep going around in circles) or we can just acknowledge the truth and do something about it.

There is a crazy thought.

A common harpism that you will often hear in my presentations is this:

“I can tell you what you want to hear, or I can tell you the truth…which would you prefer?”

Some people respond positively to this statement, others cross their legs and arms (and brains) and assume the defensive position: clearly, I have come to destroy their lives. I can usually identify non-learners and brick walls before I even open my mouth. His body language is screaming:

1. I don’t want to be here, but my boss forces me to.

2. Please do not refer to me, look at me, ask me questions, or engage me in any way.

3. I am absolutely not ready to change, so don’t you dare try to make me!

4. Who are you to tell me anything anyway, great tool.

The years have taught me to be selective and discern what truth I share, when and where I share it, and with whom. When I coach people these days, the first thing I do is find out if they’re really ready to go into reality and talk about the core issues (about their situation and problems) in a real, honest and truthful way. . If all they want is for me to hold their hand and tell them that their destructive behaviors are understandable and okay, then I tell them to come back when they’re really ready to change and to be honest and responsible.

I don’t try to teach people who don’t want to learn. And neither should you. It is an exercise in frustration and futility. And sometimes hostility!

we all do

We all avoid the truth from time to time. I’ve done it, you’ve done it. It is easier. For a moment. So it is much more difficult. Much. We do it with our health, our relationships, our career, our finances, our destructive habits…our life. I’ve talked about this phenomenon before, it’s called head-in-the-sand-itis. More often than not, dealing with and acknowledging the truth in an honest, logical, and practical way (especially when it comes to our own behaviors and habits) will save us a lot of time, heartache, and frustration in the long run.

Ignoring the fact does not change the fact. It is what it is.

Sometimes we just need to open our eyes.

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