Marriage is an exciting step in most people’s lives, and with it comes great joy and great responsibility. There are ten questions that every couple should ask themselves before getting married to determine whether or not they are really ready to take this step.

1. Why do you want to get married? Some may want to get married for financial security or to avoid loneliness, due to an unexpected pregnancy, or to start a family. Others may choose to get married simply because they love each other. Neither financial nor emotional security is a good reason for marriage, and love alone will not keep a marriage alive decade after decade.

2. Is your partner trustworthy? Are you? A strong marriage requires a lot of trust from both parties. Partners need to be able to trust each other with finances, help with chores, be cooperative parents (if children are involved), and of course not cheat. If either spouse has a history of breaching the other’s trust or even breaking the trust of a former spouse, it could set the stage for future trust issues in the marriage.

3. Is the past in the past… and have you both learned from it? Past relationships, past mistakes, and even childhood grievances and family traumas can haunt people well into adulthood. If these issues are not adequately faced and dealt with, they could arise at a later date and create disharmony in the marriage.

4. Are you planning a wedding or marriage? Women in particular, but also men, often get so preoccupied with wedding planning that they can forget that marriage comes after the wedding and lasts (ideally) much longer. A couple can work towards the wedding they want, but it’s important that they don’t forget about the marriage they need.

5. Do you feel social pressure to get married or settle down? Parents and grandparents can put pressure on a young couple to settle down, and as their friends and siblings start dating and getting engaged or married, it can seem like the natural next step for them, too. However, peer pressure is never a good reason to get engaged or married.

6. Do you share similar goals for your lives? Common wisdom tells couples that “opposites attract,” but science shows that compatible couples have more staying power. It is not necessary for a couple to share all the same interests, but if they share common goals for their lives and have similar ideals, they have a better chance of achieving it in the long run than couples who have less in common.

7. How do you handle conflict? The fair fight is a fundamental component of happy couples. If a couple can’t fight without name-calling, sarcasm, or bitter accusations, they probably shouldn’t talk about marriage just yet.

8. Are your finances in order? It’s not a romantic question, but it’s important. Money, or lack of money, can be a source of conflict in even the happiest of marriages. Having not only similar financial goals and beliefs, but also having your finances in order can keep a couple on the right track when it comes to their relationship. Pay off any debt and start saving before you put on those rings.

9. Is your education well under way or, better yet, completed? Again, this may not be a romantic question, but once a couple is married, it can be very difficult to complete an educational goal, especially if it’s simply a high school diploma or bachelor’s degree. It can take a lot of dedication from both parties for one to graduate. If both are not fully committed to the goal, then the marriage should be delayed until the couple’s education is complete.

10. Do you like, in addition to loving, each other? Not just love. Like. It’s “likes” that get a couple through the rough days, and it’s friendship that keeps a couple together for the long haul. It is love that fans the fires of passion and keeps sexual energy high. A marriage cannot survive happily in the long term without both “liking” and “love” burning brightly.