Is there a little voice in your head that is holding you back? What if the words you heard could give you a lift instead of weighing you down?
We all have a tendency to hold onto negative judgments about ourselves regardless of our status in our society. Whether we are a self-employed person who struggles every day to make ends meet, a high-ranking corporate executive in command of his career, or a successful entrepreneur reaping the rewards of his hard work, negative thoughts cling. us. Along with the constant stress, worry, and anxiety we experience in our daily lives, no one is spared from the myriad of distractions that surround us. Even when we are immersed in reading a book, our mind wanders about 20% of the time. We have a hard time being here right now.
Having negative thoughts is normal. Staying there is what does most of the damage. Excessive mind wandering and self-criticism can cause pain, anger, frustration, and fear that often lead to depression. It promotes the release of cortisol, a chemical that suppresses the immune system and, if ignored, can lead to health problems and even disease. These will prevent you from enjoying life as it should.
By shifting to a more positive thought pattern, you create a space to invite anything you want into your life, such as love, gratitude, excitement, and positivity. Acceptance allows you to be at peace and live your life to the fullest.
Your thoughts are your worst enemy. Your feelings come from your thoughts. If you can learn to change your thoughts to positive ones, you will feel better. Below are techniques you can use to quickly snap out of a negative thought.
1. “I can’t change it.”
These are the three words that changed Hal Elrod’s life: “I can’t change it.”
Hall is the no. 1 best-selling author of “The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life Before 8 AM.” Hal Elrod died at the age of 20. A drunk driver hit you head on at 70 miles per hour. He died for six minutes, went flat twice while in a coma, broke 11 bones, suffered permanent brain damage and was predicted to never walk again. Instead of dwelling on the unfortunate consequences of reality, he learned to accept the situation and moved on. To everyone’s surprise, Hal not only walked again after a few weeks, but became an ultramarathon runner, running 52 miles to raise money for charity. He is also a Hall of Fame business achiever, international keynote speaker, world-renowned success coach, and hip hop recording artist.
Hal learned from his sales training at Cutco, the company he was working with during the accident, the “5 minute rule.” He said it’s okay to be negative when things go wrong, but not for more than 5 minutes. When things don’t add up, you look at the situation, you can complain, moan, kick things, but after 5 minutes, take a deep breath and say “I can’t change it” and learn to accept reality. The 5 minutes give you enough time to feel it, reflect and decide your next move. It is useless to live in the past. You can’t go back and change it. The only logical and intelligent option is to accept all the things that are out of your control, accept the things that you cannot change, and move on.
You gain emotional freedom when you accept the things you cannot change. When bad things happen, it’s not the bad things that cause you pain, it’s your resistance to those bad things. It’s about wishing and wanting it to be different. When faced with a situation like this, say, “I can’t change it.” Divert your attention to the things you want and accept the things you don’t want (reality).
2. “.b”
.b pronounced [dot-be]means “Stop, breathe and be!”.
In 2007, two school teachers experienced the benefits of mindfulness practice and wanted to bring it to life in the classroom. The Mindfulness in Schools Project is born, henceforth the .b is coined. Richard Burnett and Chris Cullen were tasked with encouraging 25 teenagers to engage in periods of stillness and silence. They convinced them that mindfulness was a skill that could make a real difference in their lives.
Research tells us that your mental health and happiness are profoundly determined by how and where you put your attention. Mindfulness is recognizing where thinking turns to thinking and rumination. Knowing how to shift into a more nurturing mental mode is a skill you can learn through practice.
When the mind wanders, you need to bring it back to the present. If he wanders 100 times, you bring him back to the present 100 times. You need to train the muscle of our attention (also called the muscle of the mind). That is the foundation of mindfulness. Mindfulness strengthens the immune system. Less stress means less cortisol which translates to better health.
Simply put, whenever you come across a negative thought, Shout .b [dot-be]! So you have to “Stop, Take a Deep Breath and Be Present!”.
3. “The traffic light.”
Daniel Goldman is a psychologist and award-winning author of Emotional Intelligence. He challenged traditional measures of intelligence as a predictor of success in life. While watching his talk on “Focus: The Secret to High Performance and Satisfaction” at the Royal College of Music, he shared that he visited an elementary school in New Haven, Connecticut. Going to the classrooms, he noticed that there were traffic light signs on the walls of each classroom. He soon realized that the school was required to encourage children to practice mindfulness at an early age.
The traffic light reminds you that when you are upset, angry, or depressed, do the following:
ARREST! – Means to stop, assess the situation.
CALM DOWN – It means to relax, manage your inner turmoil.
THINK: means that you should think before you act.
By following these three simple steps, you will be able to overcome your negative feelings in a solid way. This process is a lesson in cognitive control. One definition of maturity is learning to lengthen the gap between impulse and action. By doing so, you allow yourself to handle a situation wisely.
4. “Change the channel honey.”
This is a classic. The wise advice of a mom.
I am a subscriber to Marie Forleo TV, an online channel featuring industry experts and societal movers and shakers. It is one of Inc’s 500 Fastest Growing Companies for 2014. Marie is a Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author and was named by Oprah as a Thought Leader for the Next Generation.
Watching Arianna Huffington’s interview promoting her new book “Thrive” one night, Arianna shared stories about the life lessons her mother instilled in her as a child.
“Another of my mother’s gifts was being in a constant state of wonder at the world around her. Whether she was washing dishes or feeding seagulls on the beach or berating overworked businessmen, she kept her senses of wonder at life. And every time I complained or was upset about something in my life, my mother had the same advice: “Honey, just change the channel. You are in control of the clicker. Don’t play the bad, scary movie.” – Arianna Huffington
She hits the spot. You are in full control of your life. You can decide if you want to feel sorry or be happy. You’re in charge! Now, it’s your choice.
Are you constantly troubled by negative thoughts? Do you dwell on your past experiences and worry too much about what the future may bring? How do you manage? I would love to hear from you. Share your thoughts in the comments below.
