Whenever Christmas or birthdays come around, I often find myself at a crossroads as to what kind of gift to give our autistic child. Our child is 6 years old and although chronologically he is six years old, evaluations have indicated that he is functioning at a developmental level of approximately 2.5 years. This puts me in a dilemma as to what would be the best type of gift to buy or suggest to you. Sure, he’s six years old and quite interested in what his older brother and sisters play with, but he’s also drawn to toys designed for toddlers and preschoolers. Talking to her therapists, however, has helped me get a better perspective and has also helped me come up with some great gift ideas!
What my son’s physical therapist shared was incredibly enlightening when we discussed practical gift ideas. Most parents of disabled children want to rush their children as they master different skills and behaviors and move on to the next milestone. What we tend to forget is the importance of simply letting the child enjoy what they have accomplished with all their hard work! Essentially, it is not only okay, but it is normal and vital for parents to let their children play and have fun with these newly developed skills. We just don’t notice it as much with neurotypical children. Our children with special needs just go at a different pace. This discussion opened my eyes and gave me a sense of relief.
Now, with this in mind, we must also consider that most families of children with developmental delays or neurodevelopmental problems are investing a lot of money in therapies for their children. They want their children to progress as much as possible. They must also be prudent with their budget. With autistic children, like our son, regular therapies like speech, occupational, and physical therapies are generally covered by insurance or Medicaid. Alternative therapies generally are not. In addition, many children follow special diets and these healthy diets are a higher but valuable expense. As a result, I, for one, am more interested in toys or gifts that are not only of good quality, but provide some kind of therapeutic value and are long-lasting. Having fun is certainly therapeutic value, but most autistic children I know, as well as some children I am related to, are really tough on their toys! They need to be able to handle the kind of intense treatment that a child with poor judgment offers.
Of course, there are a wide variety of toys available in any store that can be used in some therapeutic way for an autistic child. It is a pleasure to learn from the therapists different ways of playing with the disabled child that are not only attractive and fun, but also satisfy several needs at the same time. The benefit of having therapists and special educational services for one’s child can certainly extend to the home. If you think about it, it is a fact that is true for any child. All children like to receive fun gifts and items that interest them. This applies to autistic children like my son, as well as children with any type of disability. The important thing is to foster an inquisitive mind, mastery of skills, creativity, engagement with others (i.e. growth in social skills), and just have fun.
Some examples of using a toy with therapeutic value are Mr. Potato Head and all the varieties available. How fun it is to work on directions, parts of the body, fine motor skills regarding manipulation of parts, hand / eye coordination, emotions (turning the face down to make it “sad”), combining or coordinating outfits, and just have fun being silly.
Another example is playing with beads. There are, of course, beads of all shapes and sizes, as well as beads that stick together and are easier to manipulate. You can work on patterns, fine motor skills, strengthen your fingers, and be creative. This type of gift should come with the understanding that when using beads, caring needs to be involved in just spending about 15 minutes as children can get frustrated quite easily. Take out only a small number of accounts so they can have a sense of success and complete a project, while building their self-esteem through mastering difficult tasks.
Of course, there are also the “Wow” gifts of a trampoline (mini or full size), scooters, balls, X-box Kinect sets, bicycles or tricycles, indoor bowling games, indoor swings, puzzles, simple games, etc. . Basically anything affordable that will catch the child’s interest and keep them interested and engaged, as some of these gifts are best done when someone is playing with the child. There are some toys that can play on their own, and there is a place for that in a child’s development, but what will excite them the most is having someone constantly play with them.
The reality is that no matter what gift your child is given, whether it be for Christmas or their birthday, the best gift you can give is something that they will enjoy with the vital ingredient of including simply being the gift of yourself. Spending time with your special needs child, enjoying their mastery, and celebrating their accomplishments while simply having fun and reveling in them will create lasting memories for both of you and that is the centerpiece to a healthy and happy childhood.
