If one ends up with people who are not right for him, it may be a sign that he ends up with self-centered people. So this is not going to be something that happened once; it will be a regular occurrence.

So when they end up in a relationship like this, it will not be possible for them to satisfy their needs. Or if there are times when the other person does think about her needs, this could be something that rarely happens.

Out of balance

Then there will be two people in the relationship, but it will be as if there is only one person. The other person will then see them as someone who is only there to meet their needs.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that they will see one as nothing more than an extension of themselves. However, this is not to say that this is something they will consciously think about, as it is likely something that simply governs their behavior.

Underdeveloped

It could be said that if one attracts people who have not known how to develop properly, and therefore are not able to satisfy their needs. There would have been a time when it was normal for this person to see other people this way.

And this would have been during the early stages of its development; this being something they should have grown from as time went on. Physically he will look like an adult, but when it comes to his mental and emotional development, he will still be a child.

An approximation

Then it would be easy to see someone like that as the problem and say that they need to grow. This is not something that can be denied, but this does not mean that they think it is so.

Which may be because they didn’t get the kind of care they needed when they were younger. This would have prevented them from moving through each stage of development.

The priority

One can be well aware of the fact that there is nothing they can do to change someone like that; being themselves the ones who assume responsibility for their own lives. If they tried to do this, they would only be wasting their time.

The best they can do is focus on their own lives and see what they can do to attract someone who is different. This will allow them to use their time and energy in the right way.

the first hurdle

But while ideally they’ll find out what they can do to change their lives, they may not be able to. The reason for this is that they may believe that they randomly end up with people like that.

So this will be something that will cause them a lot of pain, but there will be nothing they can do about it. They might believe that this is something they just have to put up with.

another perspective

Alternatively, one might believe that they just need to find the right person and once they do, their life will change. So, just like in the previous scenario, one will believe that they are not playing a role in what is happening.

So one will have to wait until their circumstances change, and who knows when that will be. Or, they might believe that they need to go to different places or to another country, and then everything will be different.

go inside

If you could take a step back from what’s going on, it would give you a chance to see what role you’re playing in all of this. What they will soon discover is that the reason they experience life this way is because it is what makes them feel comfortable.

On one level, they will not want to experience life this way, but on a deeper level, it will be what feels safe. During this time they may also find that they are ashamed of their own needs.

The perfect couple

Therefore, since one feels ashamed of his needs, it will be completely normal for him to end up with people who do not satisfy them. One might believe that if they revealed their needs, they would end up being rejected and abandoned.

So by focusing on someone else’s needs, you will prevent this from happening. And if you feel that way about your own needs, there’s also a chance that he’ll feel useless.

Why is this?

When you don’t feel comfortable with your needs and feel useless, it may be because of what happened when you were younger. This may have been a time when their needs were rarely, if ever, met, and they may have had to meet the needs of their caregivers instead.

Then one would have come to believe that their needs were not important, and would have come to believe that there was something wrong with them. Being there for others and ignoring her own needs could have been a matter of life and death.

Awareness

This would have been something that happened many, many years ago, but it will continue to define their life until they change what is happening within them. There will be what is going on in your mind and what is going on in your body.

When it comes to resolving what happened all those years ago, the help of a therapist may be needed.