There is a popular phrase that says “It is not my circus and these are not my monkeys”. But have you ever felt like your life IS a circus and that monkeys are actually the least of your worries? Do you bring work home regularly or go early to “catch up”? Do you fall into bed at night thinking, “I would give anything to do NOTHING for a day”? Do you long for the opportunity to sleep in or just go to bed before midnight? Or do you wish you could read more than the first three to five pages of a book?
The first thing to do is admit that your life IS actually a circus and not only are monkeys yours, so are tigers, acrobats, dancing bears, elephants, and clowns! The good news is that, as in any circus, all it takes is a good ringleader to put all the acts in place so that everything runs smoothly.
The most important concept in achieving work / life balance is identifying pending tasks and activities and then relegating them to their proper ring or, in this case, to the proper period of time. When you have clear boundaries or rings for each focus (act) in your life, it is much easier to take charge and be the leader so that you can have multiple acts in one day, but they all go smoothly.
Ring 1 for most people will be their work activities. Ring 2 is probably your family. Part of the reason most people feel like they are constantly on the go is that these may have invaded their ring and are now showing up and stealing the spotlight or disrupting other rings. It can be helpful to spend a week or two documenting how you spend your time at any time of the day and night.
Keeping track of what you are actually doing during each hour of the day will give you a pretty good idea of which acts take up the majority of your day. Most people have two or three big acts, usually work, family, and friends. After tracking the time, decide which focus is your center ring at the moment. Which approach takes the most time in your day on a regular basis? Is it work, family, school, friends?
Does this fit in with how you thought you were allocating your time? Do you want to have a main focus or a different center ring? If work is your center ring and it takes you 10 or more hours a day on a regular basis, you may need to set some limits to keep it contained. Everyone should also have a ring for their personal time or for themselves. This is the time you spend doing things you enjoy, things that renew your spirit.
A good ringleader is able to keep each focus or act contained within his “ring” so that the focus moves smoothly from one ring to the next without a single act grabbing the spotlight (his attention). If you like visuals, go ahead and draw circles on a piece of paper and label them Ring 1 (center ring), Ring 2 (left), Ring 3 (right), etc. You can even write in blocks of time in each circle if that helps.
The other important thing to watch out for are monkeys and clowns. These are the daily distractions and wastes of time. They will run to your center ring, demand to be the center of attention, and wreak havoc if you let them.
Make a list of which ones are for you during the day. It can be social media, email, ongoing phone calls, coworkers or friends who stop by your home or office without warning, calls from your kids after school while you’re at work, just about anything that gets your attention. from your focus.
So to be a good ringleader, include time for yourself every day, and that includes enough time to sleep so you can rejuvenate. Let each act run as autonomously as possible within your ring when your focus is elsewhere, putting systems in place. Set limits to keep those monkeys and clowns in your ring or think of a way to quickly appease them and send them on their way before they interrupt your show.
Is this overwhelming? Do you need help recognizing exactly what you need and want? Perhaps it is time to seek the possibility of partnering with a life coach. Together, the two of you will devise a plan to achieve your goals. Sometimes we all need that impartial person to whom we are accountable.
