Are you a perfectionist?
Have you noticed that you:
If you have answered one or more of the questions above, you may just be a perfectionist. Does that seem to alarm you? Or maybe you have already been told by your co-workers, friends or family?
Striving to be “the best you can be” is a commendable quality. For someone who is an athlete, it is important to hone their skill and perform at the highest level. In the competitive world we live in, it’s important to aim high, to strive for greatness. People who set high standards are often high achievers, and this requires a healthy sense of perfectionism.
However, when one’s level of expectations becomes obsessive, their behavior can become irrational and self-defeating. This level of perfection can backfire by creating discomfort and stress. Studies have shown that there is a correlation between unhealthy perfectionism and depression, anxiety, eating disorders, and other mental health problems.
People who show signs of unhealthy perfectionist tendencies cannot live in the moment. Their insecurities lead them to make unreasonable and self-imposed demands that only allow them to focus on the past and their weaknesses and not on their strengths. There is a constant sense of urgency to protect the future. This can backfire, creating the reverse effect of procrastination and unproductiveness.
The key to aiming high as you work to be your best and not show signs of obsessive perfectionism is learning to find balance in your life. Understanding the difference between healthy and unhealthy levels of perfectionism helps you examine your behaviors.
The causes?
What causes harmful levels of perfectionism?
Both genetic and environmental factors play a role in the perfectionist personality. It can be taken to an extreme due to an intense desire to prove a point or to live up to the expectations of others.
If one’s self-esteem depends on the expectations of others and unrealistic goals are set, the individual may feel even worse when they do not reach their goals. This causes the individual to become more self-critical, setting even less realistic goals in motion, and the hype cycle continues. When unrealistic goals are not achieved, feelings of depression, anxiety, and a host of psychological disorders can arise.
If you feel you may be suffering from a case of perfectionism, mild or chronic, it’s important to recognize what triggers your compulsion. Is it the expectations of others and a great need to be perceived as valuable?
Negative consequences of being a perfectionist
A perfectionist personality has very little balance in their life and will sooner or later face some significant negative consequences. Let’s examine some of these potentially dangerous consequences.
Depression: Someone who is a perfectionist makes excessive demands and goals for himself. If these demands are not met, that person may become discouraged. That discouragement can lead to lack of motivation and despair, followed by feelings of worthlessness. This can result in compromised mental health and a susceptibility to depression.
Inflexibility: The perfectionist has to do everything the way he/she wants it to be. Things have to be in their perfect place. The project has to be done in a particular way. It’s hard to delegate because your way is the only way to do things “right.” The individual feels overwhelmed and overburdened, unwilling to give in, followed by high levels of stress. Too much stress can lead to a deterioration in physical health.
Destructive Habits: The perfectionist who feels overloaded, anxious, or stressed may turn to drugs or alcohol for relief. Because he/she is already locked into an obsessive mindset, this pattern can become habit-forming and destructive. It can destroy lives, families and relationships.
Low self-esteem: The perfectionist is rarely satisfied with what he is doing. They rarely see his efforts or achievements as “good enough.” They are relentlessly trying to get over his last performance for fear of feeling like a failure. When this expectation is not met, self-confidence can hit rock bottom and self-esteem can crumble. This anemic self-esteem can paralyze the individual mentally and physically, taking away the ability to think objectively and clearly. Negative thoughts and self-doubt can make you feel powerless to change your situation.
overcome perfectionism
Do you exhibit any tendencies toward unhealthy perfectionism? Do you see your lifestyle a little unbalanced? Do you feel the need to change and adopt a healthier approach to a successful life?
The first step to finding balance in life is to feel good about yourself. When self-perception and self-esteem are high, it is no longer necessary to remain locked in the perfectionist mindset. Learn ways to improve your self-worth.
With high self-esteem it becomes easier:
With a high self-concept, your confidence will skyrocket. You’ll:
The self-destructive practice of unhealthy perfectionism must be replaced with healthy, achievable goal setting. The healthy approach means enjoying the process of achieving your goals without a chronic fixation on the end result. Review your current approach and make the necessary changes to enjoy a more balanced way of life. If you need help, contact a life coach.
