In a previous article, I laid out 11 questions to consider when preparing for a difficult conversation that will keep you focused, productive, and constructive, regardless of the other person’s reaction. Now that you’re ready, implementing these six strategies will start the conversation about conflict on the right track.

1. Set up the room. To create a welcoming and safe environment, organize the room to maximize participation. Here are 5 tips:

• Arrange chairs around a table so people can face each other.
• Have graph paper or a white board to capture ideas, problems, etc. for those who are visual thinkers.
• Provide drinks and snacks as this sets a casual and warm tone.
• Have a break room in case you need to give people space to calm down emotionally.
• Provide paper and pen for those who are kinesthetic thinkers and need to write and process information.

2. Create a positive tone. It is important to create a positive attitude for those involved in the conversation. One can simply open the conversation with “Thank you for agreeing to participate in this dialogue. Today’s intention is to work hard and collaborate on how we can solve the problems we face in this situation. I need your focus and commitment to participate.” constructively and productively in this conversation.

3. Establish ground rules or standards. Don’t underestimate this strategy, especially in high-intensity, emotionally charged conflicts. Create the rules together with the parties. Do not impose these rules. just ask the question “What is needed to support the conversation so that it remains constructive and productive?” An example might be “We agreed not to interrupt each other mid-sentence.” Prayed “We agree to listen as if we were hearing the subject for the first time.”

4. Set a time frame. You don’t want the parties to be in a very emotional place and then have to end the conversation because someone has to go on another date. Make sure all parties are aware of the exact time commitment for the conversation. I would suggest 2-4 hours for any troubleshooting dialog. Parties may return for multiple sessions.

5. Determine confidentiality parameters. Setting limits on what you can say to people outside of dialogue is critical. A breach of confidentiality can quickly undermine the progress and trust that has resulted from the talks. Create and honor an agreement with the parties regarding confidentiality. Examples can be “we agree not to discuss with other employees the nature, content or behavior of these private conversations”, me “We will agree with whom, outside of dialogues, we will share information and what they need to know to move forward with an action step.”

6. Create an agenda that lists the topics. An effective strategy for keeping people up to date on the conversation is to capture a list of the topics that the parties are bringing to the table. Use a notepad or whiteboard to make a list of problems. Then have the parties prioritize the list in order of importance.