Nobody likes to hear unpleasant news. When the news is about health issues, it is often met with surprise, confusion, and shock, especially if the word is cancer. For men, prostate cancer is becoming a very common health problem. The disease is thought to be more common in men of African descent and is often diagnosed after the age of 40.
Three years ago, I visited my doctor for my annual physical. Everything happened as before, except that this time the doctor’s secretary called me and told me that the doctor wanted to talk to me. Usually I felt fine when the doctor didn’t call. No calls meant all was well and there were no adverse concerns or issues. This time, however, not knowing what the doctor would say was very unsettling. I felt that something was friends and not knowing it was even worse. He never called before; surely something must be wrong, I guessed.
I made a call to the doctor’s office when I got up the courage to listen to the news. I’m not sure why I felt the news was bad. She was doing everything she could to maintain a healthy lifestyle. He exercised at a health club at least five times a week for at least two hours each time. I ate well and did most of the things a normal healthy person does. I also felt as good as ever.
The doctor informed me that he wanted me to do additional blood tests. He ordered a PSA blood test, and two weeks after I had the test, the doctor called again and informed me in very blunt language that he had prostate cancer. He was direct and to the point. He was shocked, amazed, confused, and scared. I started searching the internet to find out everything I could about prostate cancer.
My mind began to race as the doctor continued to explain my options. I barely understood anything he said. All I could think about was that I might not have long to live. There have been many situations where people diagnosed with various forms of cancer have been given short life spans to live. In my mind, my confused mind, the reality of life’s brevity wavered back and forth. I thought about school, my children and heaven and began to wonder what will happen. I began to think about the world and everything I would leave behind.
I broke the news to my wife and two children who were present. My oldest son was in law school. She was informed at a later time. I called a dear friend and broke the news. He was willing to do whatever he could to help me through the jarring test. We discussed alternative treatments and what they would cost. He was ready to raise money to help me get the best care.
A few days after hearing the news of my cancer, I visited my doctor, who assured me that I was in the best possible shape for a successful recovery. The cancer was at an early stage, which meant a long life expectancy was possible. He gave me the option to decide the course of action for my treatment. As such, I decided that surgery was out of the question. However, only I held that position. Everyone around me wanted to have surgery. His reasoning is that once the prostate is removed, there is a very high probability that no traces of cancer will remain. I was afraid of the consequences of the surgery. I was afraid of the possibility of waking up during the surgery. I had heard stories about patients who had woken up during surgery and what a terrifying experience it was.
On my way from Ohio with my wife and daughter who were returning home for Christmas vacation, I discussed the various treatment options available to me. My wife had said that it was up to me to choose the treatment that I should have. I quickly declared that she would accept a treatment that did not involve surgery. Before the last word could leave my lips, my daughter quickly stated, “Dad, you’re going to have surgery, period.” The urgency and determination in her tone suggested that I was not going to deprive her of my presence in the world. I was sure that I could not go against the wishes of those whom I love dearly. I quickly dispensed with my idea and decided to follow the opinion of the majority of her, hers and everyone else’s.
Three years after surgery, there are no traces of prostate cancer. But the surgery was part of a more complex process that led to my current success. To learn about the various aspects of preparation and subsequent recovery, look for later articles on this topic.
