There seems to be a mystery around why relationships remain constant, but when you look closely at them, especially the reasons why they fall apart, it is not difficult to see what ties relationships closely together, what really holds them together. united. This glue consists of three main elements: Attraction, Communication Y I respect.

Attraction It is very important in the beginning to bring couples together, especially this mysterious chemistry that everyone hopes to have. Be it physical, emotional or intellectual, there must be a strong attraction between the couple for the relationship to work. Some people in arranged marriages can learn to love their partner over time and find them attractive. But in westernized societies, falling in love through attraction is the crucial facilitator of all relationships. Physical attraction plays a key role in the selection / dating stage and beyond because it fuels communication. That is why as soon as the attraction wears off, the partners lose interest in each other. Unfortunately, that attraction can never be regained because communication follows soon after, although other factors (such as emotional and intellectual needs) may come into play to hold the parties together.

Communication

it is very important to maintain a relationship. The first sign of trouble between a couple is the absence of general dialogue or communication. One person may freeze out of pain or anger, and the other out of resentment, over a particular behavior. Once someone stops expressing their feelings, their pain, their joys, or their pain to their partner, they will swell with resentment or look for someone else to communicate with. Communication with others validates who we are and reinforces who we want to be. Regardless of the cause, if communication is not maintained, the failure of the third element, respect, is not far behind.

I respect

it is the final part of the glue that cements the relationships. No two people can exist together in harmony without respect. No one can profess to love another without showing respect either. Once respect is gone, the relationship is doomed, because respect is an essential component of love and shows that someone is held in the highest esteem. You cannot have love without respect and what makes respect so difficult to give and receive are the six dimensions it contains.

Six dimensions of respect

Respect begins with curiositySo if you are no longer curious about your partner and have little interest in her, the loss of respect has begun. Second is attention. If you are taking your attention abroad and giving it to someone else, the respect is gone for your partner because the attention leads to dialogue and, in the absence of such communication, there will be no care. Then comes the most crucial part of respect: sensitivity. If you are no longer sensitive to your partner’s needs, there is no respect. We cannot say that we respect someone when we have little sensitivity to how they feel because sensitivity personifies respect and gives value to that person. When we are sensitive to someone else’s needs and feelings, we genuinely care for them and respect what they hold dear. We believe that they are worthy enough of our love. Showing sensitivity also leads to empowerment reinforcing that person, their aspirations, culture and beliefs. There is nothing more affirmative than being treated in a meaningful way to show that we are important. It is a very powerful form of self-assertion.

Finally, empowerment leads to cicatrization, especially when there have been injuries in the past in the relationship. Often in an argument, when negative things are said that are often not meant, it can cause a prolonged bad feeling. Showing ongoing respect to a spouse, especially through sensitivity and empowerment, can help mitigate the effect of those negative moments and heal the hurts caused by them. Healing is important in any relationship because it allows forgiveness and moving on. It also keeps resentment at bay. No matter how much you think you ‘love’ someone, without this essential glue to reinforce that love, the relationship has no chance.

How strong is the glue that holds your relationship together?

You can test your strength against the attraction you feel for each other now, the communication you share with each other on a daily basis, and most of all, the respect that you routinely give each other in all six dimensions. For example, how much would you rate each item out of 10 as it currently applies to your relationship? Any total under 20 on either side means trouble ahead or is already in place. I guarantee that if you both did it separately and compare notes, you will be in for a big surprise in perception! However, it would also allow you to take into account any discrepancies between you to begin the repair process today, rather than ignoring it until it is too late.