One of the biggest challenges many American women face is knowing when to finish a meal. Pop quiz.

When you eat, how do you know when to stop?

a) when your plate is clean

b) after everyone has finished eating

c) when the food has run out

d) when it is full

If you answered, d) when you’re full, you’re right. You probably have a healthy weight and are effortlessly maintaining it because you can eat until your physical hunger is satisfied. But many people who struggle with their weight don’t have a strong connection to their bodies, so they can’t stop eating until they reach the point of being full. Here are some tips to help you know when to stop eating.

Internal vs. External Signals

Last year, Cornell University researchers studied groups of people in the US and France to understand how they knew when to stop eating. They found that those who relied on external cues—external cues like a clean plate, an empty box or carton, or the end of a TV show—were heavier because they ate more food.

Sometimes it’s heartbreaking to have to put down your fork. It is not like this?

You identify? If you understand what I mean, then you know what it’s like to be so disconnected from your body that you just don’t feel satisfied after the meal is over. You may feel compelled to eat more than your belly can comfortably hold, which isn’t really much. It’s a well-known fact that your stomach is the size of your clenched fist, somewhere around a 2-cup capacity.

Despite what you’ve been told, eating past that point doesn’t mean you’re a pig or lack self-control and you’re definitely not alone. Here’s a story of mine that shares a discovery I made that can help you stop crying after meals.

Feeling the pain of finishing a meal

Before I made the decision to stop dieting, it was almost impossible for me to resign myself to finishing a meal. I felt like every meal would be my last and I was always worried that I wouldn’t have enough food, so I kept eating. It didn’t matter what he ate, as long as he was chewing. I explained that the reason was that I was still hungry, but now I know that it was not physical hunger that made me hungry. It was my frayed emotions, level of exhaustion, overloaded schedule, and inability to say “No” to people that kept me eating to fill what I used to call “my bottomless pit.” If you can relate to eating just because food is present… then I’d like to share this insight with you.

Eating to fill a corner

One morning, as I sat down for breakfast around 7:30 am, ready to enjoy half a cinnamon raisin bagel with margarine along with a nice hot and steaming cup of mint tea with sugar and lemon, I thought of something I learned many years ago.

In the past, when he lived in one of the apartment buildings he managed, he used to be a neighbor of a French woman named “Princess D’Or”. Princess and I often spent time together. One day she treated me to a delicious dinner of roast duck with wild rice stuffing, roast potatoes and apricot glaze. She used to put the potatoes under the duck so they soak up all the fat and juices while the duck roasted.

At the time, I was a huge fan of duck and helped myself to a monster portion. He put a small amount on his plate. As we ate and talked, I watched her curiously as she took her food and ate small pieces. It seemed to me that she was intently concentrating on what she was eating. Curious and wanting to know more, I asked her what she was doing.

He told me that since he usually makes this food, he just wanted to eat enough to fill a small corner of his tummy. When we got up from the meal, I could tell by the sensations in my body that I had really overindulged, and as my Nana used to say, “She was eating with my eyes and ignoring my stomach.” I was dizzy and felt pretty sick. I knew I had to excuse myself to go next door for a nap in my apartment. She, on the other hand, was excited and energized and couldn’t wait to finish a piece of art that she was painting. After thanking her for the delicious meal, we said goodbye to her and went our separate ways.

As those memories were spinning in my head, I looked at the bagel in my hand, noticed that there was a lone little raisin on what was supposed to be a cinnamon raisin bagel, which had absolutely no cinnamon flavor. I cut about 1/3 of the bagel off the 1/2 and proceeded to spread it with margarine. I took a bite and noted that it had almost no flavor. I then took another bite and noted my observation was the same, yuck! no flavor. So I left the rest of the bagel 1/2 on the counter and made a mental note to throw it to the birds later. I decided to have my mint tea upstairs and share my observations with you.

Today I really understand what Princess meant by eating to fill a corner. Just those couple of bites of savoring that disgusting ‘raisin’ bagel were enough to kill my hunger, which was strong enough to keep me from concentrating on what I was writing. So I knew I was hungry, but unlike that night when I became one with Princess’s duck, I didn’t want to feel that feeling of being too full and unproductive. Next, when I’m hungry, whatever it is, I’ll probably make myself a couple of lightly scrambled eggs, because I know I don’t have to limit myself to 3 squares a day. I can eat anything and when I want.

And you? Are you eating to fill a nook or a cavern? Do you know ahead of time how much you want to eat, and if you do, what helps you decide?

It is very important to learn to pay attention to how your body feels and what you need/want. By doing that, you will feel so good and you can eat whatever you want.

Even on weekend mornings, when most dieters plan to overeat, I don’t tend to eat a big breakfast. If on the rare occasion I do, then I won’t eat until dinner time. It’s not a matter of depriving myself. It’s just that my stomach isn’t comfortable feeling so full anymore and when I feel too full, I’ll wait until I’m good and ready to eat. It may or may not be the next meal.

Maybe you are not aware of the feeling in your stomach. You’re not alone. Here are some tips to help you know when to stop eating:

Maximum Satisfaction: Living in the land of butter, cream, cheese, bread, and wine, the French are no strangers to the idea of ​​getting maximum satisfaction from their food. There dieting is considered a dirty word, because they are not afraid of fats and richer foods. Because your heavier meals are more satisfying and calorie-dense, it’s easier for your stomach to register fullness because the fat is more satisfying and stays in the body longer. The French are used to tuning in to the sensation of their bodies to know when to finish their meals, eating only until they feel full and nothing more.

Taste every dick: The romantic French have a similar attitude towards food than towards love. Savor the moment. When you eat your next meal, pay close attention to the flavors, richness, aroma, and texture of your food.

Hari Hachi Bunme: The Japanese also rely on internal cues to guide them and know when to stop eating. They have a saying that recommends “Hara hachi bunme” which means “Eat until you are 80 percent full.” Like the French, the Japanese also eat slowly, enjoying their food for its taste, and eating much smaller portions than Americans.

But you may still have trouble knowing when to stop. Here’s a little more help:

Most of the time we are simply not aware of how our body feels unless we are told to pay attention. So, for example, you may not have noticed the sensation in your knee until something reminded you to think about your knees.

Find a quiet place where you can sit for just a few moments. Put your hand on your stomach and close your eyes, tilting your eyes towards your stomach. Just to remind you: her stomach is at the top of her belly under her ribcage. See how he feels now.

Did you just eat? Is your last meal spilling around? Does your tummy feel at peace or does it hurt? If your body could talk, what would it say?

Every time you sit down to eat, let your body tell you what’s best for you. What is your plan today? Will you eat to fill a nook or a cavern? And if you are eating to fill a cave, what part of you feels empty?

If you’d like more help reconnecting with your body or discussing other types of emotional eating challenges you may be facing, I’d like to invite you to join my Juicy Woman Yahoo Group. In that discussion forum, you’ll learn tips and strategies, all geared toward helping you make peace with food and be friends with your body.